Things that make Fencing Coaches go hmmm....

These are some of the common quotations fencing coaches hear during the course of their careers. The responses we would sometimes like to make are in parentheses.

• "We don't do lessons at my other club; we just turn up and fence" (Yes, and it shows)
• "Everyone else does it..." (So if everyone else stuck their head in a hay baler you'd do that too?)
• "We did this last week" (Yes and we're doing it again this week sunshine so deal with it)
• "But they're only regulations..." (And your un-safe equipment has been obsolete since 1952)
• "Do you mind if I just join in?" (Do you mind if I say "no, turn up on time next time"?)
• "When can we do something exciting?" (When I think you can do a lunge properly matey)
• "The others said it was OK..." (See point 2 above)

Luckily most coaches are mild-mannered polite people who wouldn't dream of saying these things out loud, but now you know why we might pause before smiling politely....